Cold
by eorocks
Summary: A short, light-hearted story about Olivia and Elliot. They're just friends...right?
1. Chapter 1

_AN: This is just a simple story. A little tease…some fun with Elliot and Olivia. I needed something a little more light-hearted. I feel as if the stories I've written lately have been a little heavy. This will just be two chapters. Here is the first. Please leave a review and share your thoughts!_

MONDAY

Elliot glanced over at Olivia as she stifled a yawn.

"I know sitting on this guy is boring, but we've only been stuck in the car for an hour. Am I _that_ boring?" He was met with a roll of the eyes and another yawn as Olivia shifted in her seat.

"Funny." She said in a flat tone. "I just didn't get a lot of sleep this weekend."

Elliot held up a hand, a myriad of thoughts going through his mind at the implication. In his mind, Olivia went home every weekend and stayed there. By herself. He knew it was a selfish thought, but anything else was unbearable to him. "I don't want to hear the details." He said, attempting to adopt a teasing tone but not quite getting there.

"As if I'd share that with you anyway." She shot back. Olivia massaged the back of her neck with her hand and then lay her head back against the seat with a sign. "I wish it was something fun, but no such luck. The boiler's down in my apartment building and I froze my ass off all weekend." Olivia leaned over and turned up the heat, as if she still had a chill in her bones.

"They're not working on it?"

"Supposedly." Olivia closed her eyes. "For now, they have some rental boiler, but it's just to keep the pipes from freezing. It's not big enough to keep the heat much above 40 degrees."

"That's ridiculous." Elliot said indignantly. But he knew the New York landlords and the HVAC contractors moved at their own pace.

"Yeah, well…" Olivia said with another sigh, agreeing with him. But there was nothing she was going to be able to do about it. "I'm going to sleep in the cribs tonight."

Elliot had slept in the cribs plenty of times…they both had. It was not the best place to get some rest. There was a constant background din in the precinct. People coming and going. "You think you're gonna catch up on your sleep in the cribs?" He asked incredulously.

"At least I'll be warm."

"What about a hotel?"

"That might be fine for a night, but even with all my overtime, I'm not going to waste money on hotels at the rate this damn city charges. What if it takes a week? Or more?" She shifted in her seat, trying to get comfortable.

Elliot saw she still had her eyes closed, and he watched as she covered another yawn. "Get some rest. I'll wake you if he shows."

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia woke up to the movement of the car, and she was disoriented for a few moments. She wiped her hand across her eyes, and looked out through the windshield, taking in the night sky and the bright lights of the city. She looked over at Elliot. "What time is it?" She asked groggily.

"Almost 11."

Olivia straightened up in her seat and brushed her hair back from her face. "I can't believe I slept that long." They had set up about 5; right before the winter sunset. "You should have woken me up." She realized she must have been sleeping soundly, and she felt guilty because Elliot had probably been bored out of his mind. Especially for six hours.

"There wasn't anything going on." Elliot said. "I would have if he showed."

"Where're we going?" Once Olivia got her bearings, she realized they were heading in the opposite direction from the precinct.

"Apparently our suspect got himself picked up… causing trouble at a local strip joint, so he's chilling in a cell. Cragen told us to go home and we can talk to him tomorrow."

Olivia swallowed another yawn; she was still half asleep. She looked out the back windshield. "I need to get back to the precinct." She said as Elliot took a right. "You're going in the wrong direction."

"It's going to take 45 minutes to get back there, and then I'd have to drive all the way back. My apartment is 10 minutes from here. It's been a long day, so I thought you could just crash at my place."

Olivia was surprised by his suggestion. Despite what people thought, they didn't spend a lot of time outside work together. She had never even been inside his apartment; only outside his building for a rare pick up. But she felt bad that she had been sleeping, and to ask him to drive an hour and a half to drop her at the precinct was selfish. "That's OK. I can just grab a cab."

"Liv." Elliot said in exasperation as he pulled up in front of his building. "Just sleep here. There's no reason for you to go all the way back just to sleep in the cribs. I'm tired. You're tired."

Olivia wanted to argue. Despite the fact that they spent an average of 10 together a day, it felt odd to think about sleeping at Elliot's. But she was too tired to dwell on it. She just wanted to sleep. "If you're sure it's not going to put you out." She said, but Elliot was already getting out of the car. She climbed out and looked over the roof of the car, still feeling unsure. "You're sure it's not a problem?"

"Liv. I have heat and a bed. Everything we need."

Olivia was suddenly glad that it was dark out because she felt a blush in her cheeks. Elliot didn't seem to realize what he'd said, and he rounded the car and waited for her. "Coming?"

Olivia brushed her hair back from her face and swiped her hand over her cheek. She had to get her mind out of the gutter…she had to push her unwholesome thoughts about her partner back in the vault where they belonged.

"Yeah."

EOEOEOEOEO

"This is nice." Olivia said. Elliot's apartment was exactly what she would have expected, albeit a little nicer than the average bachelor pad. It was furnished simply but comfortably, with shades of brown and navy blue.

"You sound surprised." Elliot said as he hung up his coat. He held out his arm to take Olivia's, and she shrugged it off and handed it to him.

"No." Olivia said quickly. "I just…I guess I didn't know what to expect." She yawned again and headed towards the living room. She felt Elliot's hands on her shoulders, and the next thing she knew, he was steering her down the hallway. "What are you doing?"

"You're sleeping in my bed tonight."

Olivia's stomach did a flip and she faltered slightly, causing Elliot's body to bump into her slightly. "What?"

Elliot laughed slightly, and Olivia could feel his warm breath on her skin. "Get your mind out of the gutter Detective." He whispered. He straightened up and dropped his hands from her shoulders. "I'm going to sleep on the couch."

Olivia turned around, hoping there wasn't a blush on her skin. "I'm not going to kick you out of your own bed."

"OK. I'm easy." Elliot said as he walked towards his room. "I'll sleep with you." He stopped at the doorway to his room and turned to face her with his hand on the doorframe. The look on her face made him want to smile; it wasn't very often that he was able to render Olivia speechless. "Liv…" He jerked his head towards the bedroom. "I'm taking the couch. C'mon."

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia heard Elliot moving around in the living room and kitchen, and she felt bad about taking his bed. But she hadn't been in the mood to argue, especially because she had known she wasn't going to win. She sat down on the edge of the bed, wishing she had something to wear for bed. She considered asking Elliot for a pair of sweats but decided against it. She pulled her sweater off over her head and folded it up. Then she stood up and toed off her shoes, and then peeled off her jeans. She shivered in the cool air of the room, and quickly unclasped her bra, leaving only her cami and underwear. She climbed into bed quickly and pulled up the covers.

Olivia rolled over on her side and snugged the blankets to her neck, sinking in to the pillows. She was suddenly overwhelmed with the smell of Elliot…it was embedded in the sheets and blankets…in the room. She inhaled deeply, the scent of him familiar and comforting.

She could scarcely believe that she was sleeping in Elliot's bed. Of course, in her most private moments, Elliot was in this bed with her. She inhaled sharply as a shiver coursed through her body…she had to shut those kinds of thoughts down.

Although…Elliot's teasing tonight had been a surprise. His words…the tone of his voice.

Olivia snuggled deeper into the mattress closed her eyes, letting her mind wander…

EOEOEOEO

Elliot woke up about 3AM, lingering half in and half out of a dream. He realized he was bathed in sweat, and that he had kicked his blanket to the ground. He was also sporting an erection, and he tried to grasp at the elusive remnants of his dream.

It came to him then. He'd been dreaming about Olivia…

Elliot sat up and scrubbed his hands over his face. Dreaming about Olivia wasn't anything new, but it was something he always felt guilty about. She was his friend…his partner. He shouldn't be thinking about her like that. But no matter how many times he told himself that very thing, he couldn't seem to help himself.

It was even more awkward with her sleeping in the next room. He shifted uncomfortably, trying to get himself under control.

This wasn't just about sex…he loved her. But he knew he could never tell her that. She had already left him twice when things got too uncomfortable. Since she'd been back, they had settled into a rhythm. He wasn't going to be the one to ruin what they had.

He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

Olivia was in his bed.

He wondered if she was sleeping.

Before he knew it, he was standing up and walking towards the bedroom door. He hesitated with his hand on the doorknob, telling himself that he was just going to check to see if she was doing okay. In reality, he knew he just wanted to see her in his bed.

Elliot twisted the knob quietly and opened the door slightly. He poked his head in the room, and he saw there was enough ambient light in the room for him to see her clearly. He knew he should look away, but he couldn't force himself too, and his eyes took in every detail.

Olivia was lying on her side, and she had slid one leg outside the covers. One long, bare leg. His eyes wandered up from her foot to her upper thigh, where blanket was draped across her hips. Her right arm was holding the blankets against her chest, and Elliot could see her bare arm and shoulder. For a moment, he wondered if she was naked beneath the sheets, and he felt a rush of heat through his body.

His eyes drifted to her face. She was sound asleep, and he looked away, feeling a stab of guilt at looking at her when she was so vulnerable. But then his eyes were irrevocably drawn back to her; knowing he'd probably never have an opportunity to see her like this again. He knew it was wrong, but she was so breathtakingly beautiful. He felt an ache in his chest and he felt like I couldn't breathe.

Olivia mumbled something and shifted slightly on the bed. Elliot froze, wondering what he could possibly say if she opened her eyes right now. But she settled back in, and he closed the door quickly. He rubbed his hand across his eyes, as if to erase the image of her in his bed from his mind.

But he knew it was seared there forever.

He also knew that falling back asleep was going to be nearly impossible.

TUESDAY

The day had been a whirlwind of activity since the moment they had arrived at the station. Olivia had left her duffle bag in her locker the day before, since she hadn't planned on staying at Elliot's, so she only had minutes to shower and change before the first call came in.

Now, it was 6:30PM, and they were scarfing down sandwiches as they went over the details of their latest case. It was pretty much and open and shut case, but they still had to do all the paperwork. She took another bite, just as Cragen walked out of his of his office.

"Don't stay too late tonight." He said, nodding towards the stack of papers between them. "I'm off to a dinner with some of the suits from 1PP."

Elliot leaned back in his chair and rubbed a hand over his head as Cragen walked out. "Don't need to tell me twice. Let's finish this tomorrow." He was exhausted. After his 3AM check-in on Olivia, he had tossed and turned fitfully on the couch, catching small bits of sleep until he had to get up at 6AM.

"You go ahead. I can finish it up."

"Whaddaya mean?" Elliot asked. "I'm your ride."

Olivia glanced over at Fin and Munch, who were working on files of their own. She dropped her voice. "I'm not going to kick you out of your bed again."

"Liv." Elliot said, leaning across the desk and lowering his own voice. "It wasn't that big of a deal. I slept fine on the couch." He lied. "You're not going to sleep in the cribs."

"Hopefully it's just one night. I'll be fine." Olivia shifted in her chair. She didn't really want to sleep in the cribs, but she felt badly about taking advantage of his hospitality.

Elliot let out a heavy sigh. "Are we really going to argue about this?" He asked. She was so damned stubborn. "I wouldn't offer if it was a problem."

Olivia pressed her lips together. She was stubborn, but depending on the topic, Elliot could hold out longer than she could. "OK, OK. But on one condition."

Elliot stood up and grabbed his coat. "There's no negotiation." He pulled her coat off the hanger and handed it to her. "Let's go."

EOEOEOEO

Elliot watched Olivia climb the stairs in front of him, shifting her duffle bag on his shoulder and trying not to look at her ass. Which was damn near impossible because she was just a few steps ahead of him.

"So, what does Elliot Stabler do on the rare evening he's home?" Olivia called back. It was only a little after 7, and she wondered what they were going to do all evening, sitting in Elliot's apartment. It felt odd.

"I don't know. Watch TV…do laundry…make dinner." Elliot said. "What do you do?"

Olivia shrugged as she reached the landing and headed towards Elliot's apartment. "Same I guess. Or I go to the gym."

"Well, we already had dinner." Elliot said, unlocking the door. "I don't have any laundry to do." He pushed open the door. "And I'm too tired to go to the gym." He stepped aside so she could walk in. "So, I guess we're watching the Rangers game."

"Hockey?"

"Yeah. Got a problem with that?" Elliot closed the door behind them.

"You know I'm not a big fan…" Olivia said, grabbing her bag from Elliot. She wanted to laugh at the look on his face. He had tried to get her interested in the sport for years, but mostly she just ignored his attempts.

"It's just because you don't understand the game." Elliot said, walking into the living room, turning on lights and then the TV. "If you really watched…" He flipped around until he landed on the game.

"Aren't you tired of trying to win me over?" Olivia said with a laugh.

"Nah. Because if you don't like hockey, that could be a deal breaker."

"A deal breaker?" Olivia raised one eyebrow at him, giving him a small smirk. She loved this casual banter, and the slight innuendo in his voice. She was more than happy to give it back. "You're going to leave me? Even after all these years?"

Elliot grinned and looked at her appraisingly. "Probably not, but why take a chance?"

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia had to admit that she was enjoying the game, now that she was starting to understand the rules. She was also enjoying the fact that Elliot was sitting on the couch next to her, laughing and teasing her as he quizzed her on players names and penalties. When he got excited about some action in the game, his thigh bumped hers, and her heart skipped a beat at the contact.

She'd glanced over at him…thinking back to moments before the game started. Elliot had come out of his bedroom, fresh from a shower, with sweats slung low on his hips and a Ranger's t-shirt in his hands. As he'd come around the corner, she couldn't help staring. Even though she'd seen Elliot without a shirt dozens of times before, this seemed more intimate. The way droplets of water lingered on his skin...his abs…

She had looked away, embarrassed by her reaction.

"Fuck!" Elliot jumped off the couch, knocking over their empty beer bottles. "Are you blind ref?" He turned back towards Olivia. "Did you see that? That was a slash."

Olivia laughed at his violent reaction, and the way he screamed at the TV. "Yes, I agree. 100%."

"Are you mocking me Benson?"

"Absolutely not." Olivia said, trying to keep a straight face.

By the middle of the third period, Olivia was completely engrossed in the game. She could see why Elliot loved it. There was a lot of action and aggressive play…testosterone laden fights and yelling from the crowd.

"Are you kidding me?" Olivia jumped off the couch, staring at the TV. "That was tripping!" She looked back at Elliot with an incredulous look on her face. "Did you see that?"

"That's my girl." Elliot said with a grin.

Olivia didn't know what to do with his comment, so she turned back towards the TV. "I can't believe they got away with that."

Elliot laughed, putting Olivia back at ease. She glanced back over at him and saw he was staring at her. She held his gaze, wondering what was on his mind.

"What?" she asked.

"Why don't we do this more often?"

"Do what?"

"Just…" He shrugged. "Hang out."

"Maybe because we already spend 10-12 hours a day together." Olivia laughed as she grabbed her bottle of beer and took a sip.

"Yeah, but this is different. We're not working. We're not thinking about work. Or talking about work."

Olivia shrugged. "I guess." She set her bottle down on the coffee table. She saw Elliot was still staring at her, as if waiting for an answer. "It just wasn't something we got in the habit of doing." She thought of all the late nights Elliot rushed home to be able to say goodnight to his kids, and she went home or had a date. It seemed their routine had been set. He was married. She was not.

When he and Kathy had separated, there had never been any impetus to change. No conscious or unconscious decision. She assumed he was working on repairing what was broken…and life continued on.

"I guess." Elliot said. He paused for a moment, and flashed Olivia a grin. "Well…I'm glad we're doing it now."

WEDNESDAY

Olivia had insisted on taking her turn on the couch, but when Elliot got up, she was already in the kitchen. He saw her before she saw him, and he took in her black leggings and white t-shirt. Her hair was mussed from sleep, and her eyes were half closed as she blew on the contents of the mug in her hand.

"Did you make enough for two?" he asked as he shuffled into the kitchen.

Olivia looked up and flashed a smile, nodding at the coffeemaker. She wasn't used to conversation right away in the morning…and not being a morning person…she didn't want to start. "Can I use your shower?" she asked, already walking out of the kitchen.

Elliot nodded, pouring a cup of coffee for himself, and he turned just in time to see her disappear into his room. He chuckled at her demeanor, noting that he shouldn't try to make conversation first thing in the morning.

Not that she would be here in the morning for much longer.

He didn't dwell on the fact that he was already dreading the news that the boiler in her building was fixed.

He heard the shower start, and he topped off his coffee and leaned back against the counter. He listened to the sound of the water running, and he tried not think about her peeling off her t-shirt...tried not to picture her pushing her leggings down over her hips and down her legs.

He gave up then and closed his eyes. He imagined her standing nude in his bathroom. He saw her step into the shower…he could see the water running over her curves…and then he gasped as he spilled hot coffee on his hand.

"Damn it."

He didn't know what the hell his problem was. Why these thoughts were running unchecked through his head. He usually managed to suppress them, or at least keep them limited to his night time dreams. But now…

Two days…or rather nights…in his apartment, and all his control had slipped away.

By the time Olivia reappeared, dressed and ready for work, he had resolved to squelch his errant thoughts. Olivia was his partner…his friend. She would be mortified if she knew the ways she invaded his thoughts sometimes.

Olivia poured herself another cup of coffee. "Are you going to stand there all day or…?"

EOEOEOEO

Unbelievingly, the day was moving slowly. Olivia had put the finishing touches on their latest case by the time Elliot got back from court, and they decided to grab a bite for lunch.

"Looks like we're going to get out of here at a reasonable time tonight." Elliot said as they sat down at a table.

"Well, now you've jinxed it." Olivia said as she perused the menu.

"There's no such thing." Elliot said.

"I guess we'll see." Olivia shot back.

Elliot grunted at her comment, hearing the presumption in her voice, and hoping she was wrong. He found that he was really looking forward to hanging out with her again tonight. "Back to back Rangers games. The game starts at 7." He said as he took a bite of his club sandwich. "Should we order in? Maybe Chinese?"

"I really need to go to the gym." Olivia said as she stuffed a fork full of chicken salad into her mouth. "I've been slacking."

"But…the Rangers are on." Elliot said.

"OK. Well, maybe I'll catch the end of the game when I get back." Olivia caught herself before she said _home_. It shocked her how easily she'd begun to think of Elliot's apartment as a place she belonged.

"I thought you liked hockey."

Olivia laughed. "I do. But…it's one game. Isn't there something like 900 games a season?"

"Hardly." He said, shaking his head. He leaned towards her slightly. "We're getting close to the playoffs. Every game is important. I don't want to miss it."

Olivia cocked her head slightly, narrowing her eyebrows. "Who said you had to miss it?"

"Well...no one." He leaned back in his seat. "I guess I just thought…" He shrugged his shoulders. "It's just been nice. Having someone to watch the game with. Hanging out."

Olivia gave him a small smile. She couldn't agree more. Ever since Elliot had mentioned it the night before, it had been on her mind. It was companionship…casual…comfortable. The thought of going back to her empty apartment every evening held less appeal now, and even though she knew she wouldn't be a guest at Elliot's forever, she hoped they could still spend time together outside of work once-in-a-while. "OK. I'll watch the game with you tonight." She leaned over and snagged a fry off his plate. "But if I get fat, I'm going to blame you."

Elliot raised an eyebrow at her. _I'll be happy to help you keep an eye on your figure._ The thought popped in his head before he could stop it. He was glad he caught himself before he said it out loud. "I don't see that happening." He handed her another fry. "But I tell you what. If you watch the game with me tonight, I'll go to the gym with you tomorrow night."

THURSDAY

Elliot watched Olivia from the spot where he was lifting weights at her gym. She was wearing a pair of black spandex leggings that ended right below her knee, a pale pink t-shirt and matching running shoes. He'd been surprised when he'd seen her emerge from the women's locker room; pink was not a color he'd ever seen Olivia wear.

Now, she was working the hell out of a stair stepper, and he was trying like hell not to watch her ass as she moved on the machine.

He didn't escape his attention that he wasn't the only one watching her.

He wondered how many times she got hit on during an average trip to the gym.

Olivia started her cooldown on the stair stepper. She glanced around, trying to locate Elliot. She spotted him pushing himself off the weight bench, and she let her eyes roam over his muscled arms and chest. She gave a silent thank you for the fitted t-shirt he was wearing. He caught her eyes before she could look away, and he started in her direction.

Just moments later, a blonde woman in a curve hugging sports bra and tiny spandex shorts stepped in front of him, and Olivia watched as Elliot was forced to stop abruptly. Even though the woman's back was to her, Olivia knew exactly who she was. The perky blonde woman…girl really…was a staple at the gym. She had to be in her mid-20's, firm young body and big breasts, and she hit on every guy in the gym.

Olivia hadn't really paid much attention to her; she wasn't at the gym to meet men and so she didn't feel any competition with the young woman. But now, watching her bounce in place as she talked to Elliot, she felt a stab of annoyance.

 _Elliot was hers_.

The thought popped into her head unbidden, and she almost gasped out loud at the veracity of it.

She turned the thought over in her mind, trying to understand the source of it. She had no claim to Elliot. At least, not beyond partnership or friendship.

And yet…she was jealous.

She hated the thought that he might find this young woman appealing.

Olivia looked away. He was a single man…he could do as he pleased. Her emotions had no place here. She and Elliot were close…maybe closer than they should be…but he'd never made her think he thought of her in any other way than a friend.

"Hey."

Olivia gasped when she realized Elliot had walked up behind her, and she turned quickly to face him. "Hey." She looked around him and saw the blonde woman talking to one of the other women that was a regular at the gym. They were both looking over at her as she spoke to Elliot. "I see you made a friend." Olivia knew it sounded snarky, but she couldn't seem to help it.

"You know her?" Elliot asked, glancing back and then looking back at Olivia.

" _Everyone_ knows her." Olivia said.

Elliot didn't miss the emotion in her voice, and he smiled inwardly. Could it possibly be that Olivia Benson was _jealous_? He could scarcely believe it, but he knew he was right. He couldn't resist teasing her a little. "She seems nice."

Olivia looked away quickly, so Elliot wouldn't notice the way she rolled her eyes. She grabbed her towel off the stair climber. "If you like that kind of thing I guess."

Elliot watched as Olivia turned away from him and headed towards the bank of treadmills, wondering what she meant by _that kind of thing_. He could tell she was pissed, and he didn't know if it was because she was jealous or because she been caught being jealous, but he knew he could really throw her off balance. "Nah…" He said, dragging it out, and he saw her pause for a second. "I really prefer badass brunettes."


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Thanks for all the love! I'm sorry for any mistakes. That's what happens when you edit too much! I had noted late Season 6, but then I had changed it to mid-season 8. The latter is right. Before Elliot went and ruined everything by sleeping with Kathy. In my world, that never happened!

Also…I wasn't able to finish this up with this chapter. So, there will be one more chapter after this.

Here we go!

THURSDAY continued…

 _I like badass brunettes_.

Elliot's words stopped her in her tracks, but she rallied quickly and kept walking. She didn't want him to see how her reaction…how his words affected her.

Was Elliot _flirting_ with her?

She climbed onto the treadmill and started it up, mulling his statement over in her mind. She thought about the last few days and their time together. They had been comfortable with each other for sure; nothing she wouldn't have expected. They knew each other inside and out, and even though the circumstances were strange and new, they'd both fallen into it pretty easily.

Still, the banter had gone beyond the things they normally said to each other. She had written it off to the fact that they weren't at work…that they weren't under scrutiny…being watched for anything that would feed the rumor mill.

 _That's my girl._

It implied a sense of familiarity…ownership. Olivia thought about her stab of jealousy when Elliot was talking to the other woman _. Elliot was hers._

Could it be that Elliot felt the same sense of ownership she did?

But she knew the answer to that. It was the very reason she didn't talk about her dates anymore. It was why he didn't know about the guy she'd been seeing for the past few weeks.

Still…she had always gotten the impression he was trying to work things out with Kathy. He had never intimated anything other than friendship.

Maybe it was all in her mind. Maybe she was just trying to justify all the sleepless nights and baser thoughts she'd had…all the wishful thinking.

He was just teasing her. Having fun. That had to be it.

Olivia punched the speed on the treadmill and started to run. She caught motion in her peripheral vision, and saw Elliot climb on the treadmill beside her.

Elliot looked over at Olivia. He knew he'd thrown her off-center because she wasn't looking at him and she wasn't responding to his comment. He decided to let her off the hook. "Are you trying to kill me?" Elliot asked, a big grin on his face.

Olivia didn't look at him. "Can't keep up?" she taunted. She knew his competitive spirit wouldn't let him admit it, and it was a good way to change the topic.

"Hmmphh." Elliot grunted non-commitally. He punched up the speed on the treadmill. He wasn't much of a runner, but he wasn't going to let Olivia best him. "I can run 5 miles in less time than you."

"Want to bet?" Olivia asked, starting to breathe more heavily.

"What makes you think you've got something I want?"

"Maybe _you've_ got something I want." Olivia said. She wasn't going to let Elliot have all the fun. She was going to dish it right back at him.

Now it was Elliot's turn to be surprised. "Oh yeah? What's that?"

"Your bed." Olivia said. She'd slept on the couch the last couple of nights, at her own insistence. But she hadn't slept well and a night in Elliot's bed sounded wonderful.

"So, if you win, you get to spend tonight in my bed?"

"Yep." Olivia said.

"And if I win…you're on the couch?"

"I'm not worried…" Olivia said with a laugh.

"And if we tie…does that mean we both sleep in my bed?"

FRIDAY

Olivia glanced across her desk at Elliot as he talked on the phone. Despite the innuendo laden barbs at the gym, they had managed to retreat to normal afterwards. Olivia had been relieved, because this was all unchartered territory, and it was throwing her off.

They had left the gym, stopped at her still freezing apartment to pack some much-needed clothing changes for her, picked up some food from the bodega near his apartment, and muddled through the rest of the evening cooking, and cleaning up. She hadn't felt a shred of guilt as she climbed into his bed, but his words had echoed in her brain as she had tried to fall asleep.

 _Does that mean we both sleep in my bed?_

It had almost made her want to slow down during her run, just to see what he would do if they actually _did_ tie.

Olivia saw Elliot hang up the phone, and she focused her attention back on the papers in front of her.

Elliot glanced over and saw Fin and Munch at their desks. He pushed his chair out and walked over to Olivia's desk, resting his butt against the edge of it as he crossed his arms in front of him. Olivia pushed her chair back slightly, so she could look up at him.

"Yes?" She asked with an expectant look on her face. "Was that Warner?"

"No. It was Liz."

"Judge Donnelly?" Olivia asked, puzzled as to why the Judge would be calling Elliot.

"No. My _daughter_."

Olivia laughed at her mistake. "I guess I was focused on work." If he only knew the thoughts that had been going through her head while he was on the phone.

"She and Dick are arguing about where to go dinner tonight." He said quietly, so Fin and Munch wouldn't hear. No one knew that Olivia was staying with him, and they needed to keep it that way. "So, I decided for them."

"That'll be fun."

"Well…I was thinking…" Elliot started. "Why don't you come with us?"

"What?" Olivia shook her head. "No. It's your time with your kids. You don't get to see them very often."

"Don't be silly. They'd love to see you."

"I don't want to intrude." Olivia protested, hoping he didn't push it any farther. "They already have to share you with me at work."

"It's not that big of a deal. Trust me." He said. He knew the kids genuinely liked Olivia. "Besides, I hate to have you sitting alone in my apartment."

"El…"

"It's settled then." He started to push himself up off her desk, when he felt her hand on his arm.

"El. I can't go with you." Olivia pressed her lips together. She had hoped to avoid this. "I already have plans."

Elliot settled back against his desk. "Suddenly you have plans?" He appreciated the fact that she was trying to give him time alone with his kids, but she was going a little far.

"Well…not suddenly. I've had plans…" her voice trailed off, but Elliot just looked at her expectantly. "I have a date."

Elliot didn't know why, but that wasn't what he had expected to hear, and it caught him off-guard. "A date." It was more of a statement than a question.

"Yeah. We made plans to go out tonight last week, if he made it back in town in time. And…well…he did. So…" She had really hoped to avoid this entire conversation. Elliot had told her that he was going out with the kids and she had kind of just planned on being gone when he came back…leaving her plans vague.

"I didn't know you were seeing someone." Elliot said, and he could hear the tension in his own voice.

"It's just been a couple of weeks. A few dates." Olivia didn't know why she felt like she had to explain herself to him. Maybe so he would understand that it wasn't anything serious…and that it had all happened prior to this week. Not that it should matter…

"How many?"

"How many dates?" Olivia asked furrowing her eyebrows. Now, Elliot was crossing a line, quizzing her like she answered to him. "I don't know. A few."

Elliot didn't like the fact that she was being vague…but he had this overwhelming need to _know_. He didn't know much about dating protocol anymore, but a few dates implied she had slept with him…this mystery man…and he hated the thought of it.

Olivia saw movement, and realized Fin and Munch were actively listening to their conversation now. They must have raised their voices just enough. Just what she needed. Olivia stood up, pushing her chair back with her knees. "Just drop it. OK?"

The truth was, she didn't really want to go out with Ben tonight…not after spending this week with Elliot. But she had told herself she needed to because this thing with Elliot…whatever it was…wasn't going anywhere. It had been years of non-commitment. Of never moving things forward. She had accepted that this was how things were going to be. A few flirtatious comments meant nothing.

Olivia walked away, and she didn't know if she was disappointed or pleased when Elliot didn't follow her.

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot had been stand-offish all afternoon, but Olivia ignored him. It wasn't the first time he had been in a mood. And it wouldn't be the last. It was nothing new, and she had learned how to deal with it over the years.

"Ready to go?"

Olivia looked up and saw Elliot standing by his desk.

"I'll just catch a cab." Olivia said. "Then you can go straight to Queens."

"I'm going home. Dick had something after school, so we're not meeting until later." He jerked his head towards the squad room doorway. "Let's go."

Olivia sighed. She didn't want to ride in the car with Elliot, and she didn't want to get ready for her date while he was there. She considered asking him to drop her at home, but she couldn't imagine showering and getting ready in that chill. She had held out hope that the boiler would be fixed today, but she had checked with the landlord, and they were still waiting for the contractor.

Elliot paused by her desk. "C'mon Liv."

Olivia noticed that he had softened his voice…a sign that things had blown over. She hesitated a moment, and then gave him a small nod.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia put the last curl in her hair and looked at herself in the mirror. This was her fourth date with Ben, so she was past trying to make a good first impression. But they hadn't gone out enough times where she could forgo the extra effort.

She brushed a coat of gloss on her lips and stuffed it in the small purse that was lying on the counter. She took one last look, and then told herself to stop stalling. There was no way to avoid Elliot on her way out.

At least Ben hadn't asked too many questions when she had called and told him she would meet him at the restaurant. He probably assumed she was coming from work.

Elliot had been flipping between stations, trying not to think about Olivia's date tonight. He knew he had no right to say anything to her. She was a single woman; of course she dated. In fact, she used to date a lot. His assumption had been that her dating life had slowed down or was non-existent. Now he realized that she had simply stopped talking about it.

He looked up as she walked out of his bedroom. She looked so foreign to him in her black dress and curled hair; the woman behind the detective.

A line that had become more blurred as the years flew by.

He hopped up from the couch and walked over to where she was standing in the foyer. He slipped her black leather jacket from her hand. "You look…" _Beautiful. Stunning. Gorgeous_. "nice."

Olivia looked up shyly, wondering about the hesitation, and what he'd wanted to say. She saw something in his eyes…in the way he was looking at her…that made her heart flutter.

 _Ask me to stay._

Elliot held out her jacket, and Olivia slipped one arm inside, turning as she did so. She moved her clutch into her other hand and slipped her right arm into the empty sleeve. Elliot reached up to pull her hair from inside the jacket, and he felt Olivia's breath hitch as he ghosted his fingers along the soft skin at the nape of her neck.

 _Stay._

The word was on the tip of his tongue. But he knew it was selfish to ask, and he swallowed it back.

Olivia turned around, that same shy look on her face. "Thanks."

"So…" Elliot started. "This guy…"

"Ben." Olivia supplied.

"Ben." Elliot repeated. "He's a good guy?"

"I think so." Olivia said softly.

"I'm sure he is if you're seeing him again. You're a good judge of character."

Olivia raised an eyebrow, wondering about his comment. It seemed like he was trying to be nice and say something positive, but he felt almost as if he was giving her permission to go. She felt conflicted about it because it seemed like his acquiescence confirmed that there was nothing more for them.

He saw Olivia flash him a quick smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. He wondered what was going through her head right now.

"Well, I'd better get going." Olivia said.

"Ben's not picking you up?" Elliot asked, starting to wonder about him.

"No…" Olivia started. "I thought maybe it would just be better to meet him."

Elliot nodded. He thought he understood. He wondered if Olivia had ever talked about him, or if he was just rolled into the subject of work. "I get it." He said. "So…do you want a key? Or… you could just hit the buzzer. I should be back from dinner by 9 or 10."

Olivia pressed her lips together and shifted uncomfortably, looking down and away. "Ummm…I'm really not sure what time I'll be back."

"It's OK. I'll be up late." Elliot said.

"El…" Olivia reached out and touched his arm lightly. "Don't wait up." She turned and headed towards the door.

It wasn't until the door closed behind her that the full implication of what she'd said hit him.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: It seems that I can't get my act together and finish up this story! Sorry this is kind of short. One more chapter coming.

EOEOEOEO

"You're quiet tonight."

Olivia looked up from her dinner. "Am I?" She set her fork down, having barely touched her dinner.

Ben laughed. "I've done all the talking." He leaned over and placed his hand over hers. "Is something wrong? Did you have a bad week?"

Olivia shook her head. "Not any worse than usual." One thing she had liked about Ben since the beginning was that he always asked about her day and about how it impacted her, but never pushed for information. He respected what she did, understood it was hard as hell, and cared about her emotional well-being without wanting or needing to hear the details.

She looked up at him. "I'm sorry." He had arranged for dinner at this beautiful restaurant and she'd had her mind elsewhere. He assumed it was work that was distracting her, when in fact, the only thing she could think about was the look on Elliot's face right before she left.

"You don't need to apologize. We all have those days." Ben smiled at her and pulled his hand back from hers. "How about if we just get out of here? Go back to my place and relax a little. Get comfortable. Have some more wine…"

Olivia tried to give Ben a small smile, understanding the meaning in his statement. This was their fifth date, and she'd gone to bed with him after their 3rd. After their 4th, she'd spent the night. He had been gone this past week and had been sending sweet texts…telling her how much he'd missed her and talking about spending as much time as possible together this weekend. This was how dating worked…how relationships progressed.

But still…she didn't see herself in a relationship with Ben.

She never saw herself in a relationship with anyone.

She dated…she had sex…but she never seemed to be able to take it much farther than that. She always assumed it had something to do with the circumstances of her birth, her messed up childhood, and the lack of a father. And that was probably true…but she also knew, at some level she didn't want to admit, that Elliot was rolled in there somewhere.

"Olivia?"

She looked up and saw Ben looking at her with a worried look on his face. He was a sweet man. Smart and handsome, well-spoken and successful, and she knew that any woman would be lucky to have him look at them the way he was looking at her.

She should be happy.

She should let herself fall in love.

She just had to get out of her own way.

"That sounds wonderful." Olivia reached for his hand and squeezed lightly. "Let's go."

Ben paid the bill and helped Olivia with her short, leather jacket. He wrapped his arm around her waist as they exited the restaurant, and then he tipped the doorman to hail a cab. When they were tucked safely inside, and the cab pulled away from the curb, Ben leaned in and captured her lips with his.

Olivia pulled back slightly; she had never been one for public displays of affection. She saw the look on Ben's face, and she felt a pang of guilt. She glanced up at the cab driver, but he wasn't paying any attention. She reached up and pressed the palm of her hand against Ben's cheek, and she leaned in and kissed him. A light kiss at first, and then she pressed her lips more firmly against his.

Ben slid his hand around her side and pressed firmly into the dip of her waist, and then he was in control of the kiss. He turned his head and deepened the kiss, and when he released her lips, he kept his mouth close to hers. "I missed you." He said.

Olivia could hear the earnestness in his voice. The hope and promise, and her heart sank. She was leading him on…letting him think there was a future for them when she knew she could never give him her whole heart.

Olivia pressed her hand against his shoulder gently, and Ben retreated and gave her a grin.

"Sorry. I know you don't like PDA. I just couldn't help myself." He slipped his hand in hers and leaned back against the seat. "It's your fault really. You look so ravishing." He laughed. "I have to tell you…you probably don't realize the way men look at you. Or maybe you do…"

Olivia heard him rambling, and she wondered if he had noticed a shift in her demeanor.

"I suppose beautiful women get used to it…"

"Ben…" Suddenly, she felt as if she couldn't breathe. "Stop." She rasped.

"I know. I'm rambling. I'm sorry."

Olivia shook her head. "No. I mean stop."

Ben looked at her with a confused look on his face.

Olivia ignored him, feeling almost panicked…claustrophobic. She looked at the cab driver. "Stop the car." She saw the cabbie look in his rearview mirror, and she repeated herself. He pulled over quickly to a cacophony of horns, obviously hearing the panic in her voice.

"What's going on?" Ben asked in alarm.

"I'm sorry." Olivia said as she opened the door.

"Wait." Ben said, circling her arm with his hand. "Where are you going?"

Olivia turned. "I'm sorry." She said again. "I have to go." She pulled her arm from his grip and started to climb out of the cab.

"Olivia. I don't understand."

Olivia turned. "I can't do this."

Ben climbed out of the cab behind her and reached for her again. "Will you just wait?" He dropped his hand as she stopped. "Will you tell me what's wrong? Did I say something or do something?"

Olivia could hear the cabbie yelling at Ben to pay his fare, but Ben's attention was on her. "It's not you…you didn't do anything. I just need to go."

"Just get back in the cab." He said, looking around. "I'll take you home."

The cab driver had gotten out of the cab and come around the front, yelling at Ben again. Olivia watched as Ben fished out his wallet and she saw a cab pull in front of them and two young women disembark. She rushed over before the cab could take off, and she saw Ben shove some bills into the cabbie's hands. When Ben looked back, their eyes connected. She felt a stab of guilt and the pure confusion on his face. But she couldn't explain it to him right now…her need to get away was too great.

"I'm sorry." She mouthed, and then she slid into the waiting cab and closed the door.

EOEOEOEO

Elliot started walking back towards his apartment, pissed off that the only on-street parking spot he'd been able to find was over six blocks away. He mulled over his dinner with Dick and Liz, feeling horrible because he knew he'd been bad company. He hadn't been able to keep Olivia off his mind, his emotions ranging from sadness to jealousy to anger.

Of course, the kids had picked up on his mood right away and they had tried to pull him out of it; and he tried to engage with them as best he could.

He tried not to dwell on what Olivia was doing at the moments when he checked his watch _. Were they still at dinner? Had she mentioned a show? Coffee and dessert after? Dancing? Did Olivia even like dancing?_

Anything to keep him from thinking about them going back to Ben's apartment.

On his drive home, all he felt was a dull ache.

He knew he only had himself to blame.

He was only about a block from his apartment when he saw a familiar silhouette emerge from a cab in front of his building. He hesitated a second, unable to see in the weak light from the streetlight, knowing it couldn't possibly be Olivia. He was only seeing what he wanted to see.

He saw the figure ahead hesitate as they faced the building, and then turn and poke their head back into the cab. The light caught their face then, and he saw without a doubt that it was Olivia. He broke into a light jog, wanting to call her name, but he was too far away. A million questions were running through his head...and then he saw her slide back into the cab and close the door.

Elliot increased his speed; he needed to stop that cab. He was so close…he was thankful the cab wasn't moving…and then he was there.

He knocked on the passenger window, and he saw Olivia's startled look as she lifted her head. The shock morphed into something else undefinable as she recognized him, and he reached for the handle and opened the door.

"Liv." He said, more loudly than he intended. "What's going on? Are you okay?"

Olivia looked up at Elliot, seeing concern etched in his face. She shouldn't have come back here. She didn't know what to say to him…how to explain her absolute _need_ to come back here.

It was why she'd gotten back in the cab. She didn't have words.

No, that wasn't true. Truthfully, she was afraid she had too many. She was worried that it would all come out…that she wouldn't be able to stop herself from telling Elliot everything she had wanted to tell him for so long.

And that would be the end of them.

Her heart couldn't bear it. As long as he didn't know, she could pretend he felt the same way about her. That there could be something else for them.

"Olivia. You're scaring me." Elliot didn't like the fact that she wasn't answering him, and he could see her eyes were glistening with unshed tears. His mind went to a horrible place. "Did something happen? Are you hurt?" He crouched next to her and tentatively reached out, not wanting to startle her.

Olivia could only shake her head. "No." She finally managed to choke out.

"Just tell me what happened." Elliot pleaded.

Olivia took a deep breath, trying to keep the tears at bay. She didn't cry…she hated crying…and she didn't want to break down now. "I shouldn't have come back here." She said in a loud whisper, still shaking her head slightly. "I'm sorry."

As the words tumbled from her mouth, she saw the confusion on Elliot's face, and it reminded her of the look on Ben's face as she uttered the very same words. It seemed that all she could do was cause misery. She glanced back at Elliot. "I have to go." She said.

"Liv." Elliot reached for her, but she pushed his hand away.

"Let me go." She pleaded.

Elliot couldn't remember a time when he'd seen Olivia like this, and it confused and scared him.

"Please." Olivia begged.

Elliot stared at her for a moment longer. "No." He said quietly. He held out his hand. "I'm not letting you go."

Olivia stared at his outstretched hand, and then back at Elliot's face. She saw the earnestness there…and something else.

An understanding...

Olivia watched Elliot hand the cabdriver some money, and then he was gently pulling her out of the cab. She didn't offer any resistance as Elliot pulled her away from the cab and farther on to the sidewalk.

Elliot turned to face her. He placed his hands on her shoulders and bent down slightly to look her in the eyes. He noticed the way her lipstick was smudged, and her eyes were still glassy. "Liv…are you sure you're not hurt?"

"I'm not hurt. I just…" Olivia bit down on her bottom lip, stopping herself from saying something she'd regret. "I just…I couldn't…"

"Shhh." Elliot said. He pulled Olivia into his body and wrapped his arms around her. She was stiff as he held her. He buried his face in her hair, breathing in deeply. "Whatever it is, we'll talk about it later." He pressed a kiss to the top of her head as he felt her relax against him. They swayed lightly as he held her, and he had so much that he wanted to say to her right now. But he knew she wasn't ready to hear it right now. He lowered his mouth close to her ear. "I'm just glad that you're here."


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Thanks for reading and for your kind reviews. I guess this 'light' story got a little heavy. Sorry about that. I couldn't help it with these two. Here's the final chapter!

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia braced her arms against the counter and looked in the bathroom mirror. She had managed not to break down in Elliot's arms, but that was only because he'd felt her shiver in the cold winter air and had broken his embrace to rush her inside.

When they'd arrived in his apartment, she had excused herself quickly, and locked herself in the bathroom, trying to get her emotions under control. If she didn't, she wasn't sure what was going to happen.

Olivia turned on the water, and let it run over her hands until it turned warm. She looked at her reflection, taking in the lipstick smudges and smeared eyeliner. She was a mess. Gathering warm water in her cupped hands, she leaned over and splashed her face with water, trying to clean up the remnants. She only managed to make it worse, so she found a washcloth to finish the job. When her face was clear of make-up, she focused on her clothes. She wanted the stupid dress off…the carefully selected bra and panties gone…and a moment later, they were piled on the floor.

When she was stripped bare, she looked back at her reflection. Looking for what, she didn't know. Strength? Resolve? Answers to questions unasked?

She had none.

 _I'm just glad you're here._

Elliot's words came unbidden, and she thought about the tone of his voice, the warmth of his breath against her skin, the solid wall of his body as he pressed her close, and the feeling of belonging and safety…of being right where she was supposed to be.

She wondered if Elliot knew…really knew…how his words and actions impacted her. She didn't think so. He had been scared something had happened to her…that she was hurt. He was concerned about her as a woman…as his partner…as his friend.

Olivia knew she had to stop reading into every little thing he said and did.

 _Do you really think a few nights in his apartment and a few flirty comments meant things had changed?_

For what seemed like the millionth time, she had to remind herself that he'd had years to say something to her…to change things between them. The fact that he hadn't said a thing when she'd gone out tonight was proof enough.

A knock on the door startled her.

"Liv? Is everything ok in there?"

Olivia looked around for something to cover herself; she could just imagine if Elliot barged in and caught her standing there naked.

"Liv?" He rattled the door handle, testing to see if it was locked.

"I'm fine." She said quickly. She knew she hadn't locked the door. "Don't come in." She grabbed a towel off the rack and wrapped it around herself, making sure she was covered.

"Olivia." Elliot said sternly. "You've been in there for half an hour." He leaned on the door, wanting nothing more than to barge in there and make sure she was okay. Ever since he'd opened the door to the cab, she'd been off. He'd seen the look on her face and felt the way she'd trembled in his arms. The moment they had walked over the threshold of his apartment, she'd bolted for the bathroom. He rattled the knob again. He raised his voice slightly. "Olivia."

Olivia wrenched open the door, and immediately stepped back as Elliot stumbled into the room towards her. He pushed into her, causing her to fall back against the vanity and lose hold of her towel. Olivia gasped as Elliot grabbed the edge of the counter to keep himself from falling on her completely, and Olivia was able to grab the towel again to keep it from falling as Elliot stepped back.

Elliot saw her standing there…her face clean and the front of her hair damp…clutching a towel around her body. The towel barely covered her, and his eyes swept over her. But it wasn't sexual; he was looking for telltale signs…bruises or cuts or both.

Olivia didn't know that, and she straightened up, clearly pissed off. "Did you get a good look? Or would you like me to drop the towel?" She pushed past him and went across the hall to his bedroom, intent on getting dressed. She was so done with this night.

"Liv…I wasn't…" Elliot followed her into the bedroom. "I was looking to make sure you weren't hurt."

Olivia whirled around. She was emotionally drained, and she couldn't handle him right now. Anger was the only tool left in her arsenal. "I told you that I was fine." She snapped. "Why don't you believe me?"

"Because I know you. I know when something's wrong."

Olivia let out a sound of exasperation. "I don't know what else I say to make you believe me. But it doesn't matter. I can take care of myself." She grabbed a pair of leggings and a t-shirt from her duffle.

"So, you're mad that I care about what happens to you? That doesn't make any sense." Elliot tried to keep his frustration out of his voice but failed.

Olivia's anger fizzled, and she just felt exhausted. "I can't argue with you about this right now." She said tiredly. "I just want to put some clothes on and get some sleep." She watched Elliot's face, knowing he was trying to decide how far to push her. In the moment that she saw he was going to leave it be, she took mercy on him. She leaned towards him slightly and softened her expression. "Ben would never do anything to hurt me." She said firmly. "Trust me."

"OK." Elliot said.

Olivia nodded towards the clothes in her hand. "Can I get dressed now?"

Elliot left his bedroom, still feeling slightly unsettled. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water. He took a long drink and leaned against the counter. He knew something had happened tonight and he had a sudden realization that maybe he'd gotten it all wrong. Maybe Olivia and Ben had gotten into an argument…or maybe Ben had broken things off with her.

Still…

Elliot had seen Olivia go through dozens of other breakups and she'd never been that upset before. In fact, she'd never seemed upset at all.

He heard the bedroom door open, and Olivia emerged. She was pulling a gray sweatshirt on over her t-shirt and she stopped when she saw him standing there. In less than 5 seconds, she veered into the living room, and grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch.

Elliot followed her. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to sleep." Olivia sat down on the edge of the couch and spread out the blanket.

"I thought maybe we'd stay up for a while. Watch TV or a movie. Or talk."

"I just want to sleep." Olivia said. She was slightly annoyed because she thought she'd made it pretty clear just a few minutes earlier. She saw the look on Elliot's face, and he clearly meant to try to persuade her into doing as he planned, so she shut him down before he could say anything. "Good night Elliot."

With that, she lay down, fluffing the pillow under her head, and pulled the blankets up to her shoulders. For good measure, she turned so her back was to him, hoping he got the message.

Elliot stood there for at least a minute, still distracted by her strange behavior. When it was clear she wasn't even going to turn around to tell him to leave her alone, he let out a heavy sigh, and headed towards his bedroom.

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot let out a sigh of frustration as he flopped on his back. He'd been lying in bed, tossing and turning, for the last hour, but sleep eluded him. He couldn't get Olivia off his mind. He ran over everything that had happened over the course of the evening…even at the precinct earlier in the day. Olivia had seemed fine, even though things were a little awkward when she left for her night out with Ben.

When he thought about her being out with Ben, he had to force himself to think about something else. He remembered the way Olivia had started yelling at the ref during the Rangers game…which led him to think about everything that had happened since Olivia had arrived at his apartment on Monday night. It had been great having her at his place. It had let him see another side of her, when he thought he knew everything about her.

His mind wandered to the teasing…the innuendo. It had gone farther than they'd ever taken things before. But it had been harmless. Fun.

He wondered if he'd taken it too far.

But then he remembered the lines she'd thrown back at him. She was giving as good as she was getting. She was _enjoying_ their little game.

And so was he.

Her date tonight had really thrown him off. He really had wanted her to stay. He remembered the way the words nearly tumbled from his mouth.

He'd had this overwhelming need to have her here…with him. Where she _belonged._

Elliot sat up in bed…a new realization dawning. An epiphany that seemed so apparent now.

Maybe nothing had really happened to Olivia tonight, just as she'd said. Maybe she'd been upset because of _him_. Because he _hadn't_ asked her to stay.

Could that be it?

Could he really be that lucky?

Or was it all in his imagination? A manifestation of what he hoped to be true?

He closed his eyes, trying to remember everything she'd said. Her mannerisms and facial expressions. He'd been so wrapped up in his own emotion, he had missed all the signs…the non-verbal cues.

He remembered the way she had hesitated right before she walked out the door, when she'd told him not to wait up.

He should have stopped her then and there. He should have shared the thoughts that had been running through his mind that week. He should have told her how she occupied his heart and his mind…and had for years.

Consequences be damned.

So much time had been wasted.

No more.

Elliot scrambled out of bed and fished around for a pair of sweats. He tugged them on, almost falling over in his haste to get dressed. He grabbed a t-shirt that was sitting on top of the dresser and pulled it over his head. He rushed towards the door, his common sense catching up with his emotion.

He couldn't go out to her and declare his undying love. Two quick departures had taught him that Olivia's first inclination was to run when things got too "real".

No. He had to give her the opportunity to make the first move. Somehow, he had to let her know that he was open to hearing what was on her mind…and in her heart.

Elliot opened the bedroom door, and paused, listening for any sound. There was a dim light in the kitchen, but it wasn't bright enough to pierce the darkness in the living room. He walked out as quietly as he could, undecided about whether or not to wake her.

He had an overwhelming need for this to happen tonight. Mostly because he was afraid that things would look different in the light of day. That he would lose his nerve.

Fear had been what had kept these truths from coming out all these years.

"Couldn't sleep?"

Elliot heard Olivia whisper in the dark.

Olivia could see Elliot's profile…but his face was hidden in darkness.

"No. Not really." His voice was husky from disuse, and he cleared his throat. "You?"

"Not really." Olivia said, her voice still a whisper.

Elliot walked into the darkened room and sat down in the chair opposite the couch. "Well…maybe we can not sleep together." He hadn't intended the double entendre, but he heard it as soon as the words were out of his mouth.

"Aren't we already doing that?" Olivia said. She sat up and scooted back into the corner of the couch. She curled her legs beneath her and pulled the blanket back over her lap. She could feel goosebumps on her arms from the cooler night air, and she shivered slightly, wishing she hadn't discarded her sweatshirt.

Elliot was surprised by her answer, but relieved. It cut the tension in the air that had been left from earlier. "I guess technically, that's true."

Olivia couldn't see his face and a part of her didn't like the fact that she couldn't read his expression or see his eyes. She could always tell gauge his emotion by looking into those crystal blues.

The other part of her welcomed the dark. Elliot wouldn't be able to read her either, and somehow the dark made her feel braver. "Technically? What does that mean?"

Elliot pressed his lips together, trying to decide how to answer her question. No quick quip came to him, and there was no way he was going to say what had entered his mind as soon as the subject of sleeping together…or not sleeping together…was out there.

"Have you ever thought about it?"

Elliot almost choked on his own breath when he heard the words float across the room, and he heard the tremor in her voice. She had obviously read what was on his mind…or had assumed from his lack of response. This time, he didn't hesitate. She had given him a gift by bringing it up first, and he didn't want her to regret it. "Yes." He rasped out.

He hoped she didn't think he was an asshole…for thinking about it and for admitting it.

"Oh." She said, the sound light and breathy. He realized she hadn't expected him to answer her…or hadn't expected honesty.

Olivia didn't know what to do with his response. Alex had always told her not to ask a question you didn't already know the answer to…but Elliot's confirmation practically knocked the wind out of her.

"What about you?" Elliot asked, feeling brazen by her question. "You ever think about it?" He felt like a teenaged boy, trying to navigate through the first time he spoke to a girl he liked, couching everything in vague terms. "About us sleeping together?"

Olivia felt her cheeks redden. She ducked her head slightly, even though there was no way Elliot could see her. She hesitated for a second, considering her answer. But Elliot had been honest with her, she owed him the truth. "Yes."

Elliot felt his heart skip a beat…grateful to hear that the desire was mutual.

But she'd had enough men…and probably a few women…lust after her to last a lifetime. "Liv…I don't want you to think…"

Olivia cut him off. "I think it's just natural. We're both adults. We're together all the time…"

Elliot realized she was backtracking…protecting herself in case he was going to qualify his words. "Stop it." He said softly.

Olivia heard something in his voice…in the way he uttered the words…that made her pause.

Elliot listened to the silence…to Olivia's soft breathes. For whatever reason, she was trusting him, and he was immensely grateful. He paused, wanting to move slowly. Admitting to some lust induced fantasies was one thing, but this was so much more than that. "You know it's more than that."

A full minute had passed, and Olivia still hadn't said anything. But there was no going back now. "Olivia." The darkness still dictated whispers. "Tell me that you know."

"El…"

He could tell by the tone of her voice that she was about to deny him; that the honest communication they were having was about to end…before it really even got started. "Don't…please. Just talk to me."

"What do you want me to say? That I know there's more to us than we've both been willing to admit?" Olivia paused a bit, mustering up her courage. "Of course I know that. But there's a reason neither one of us has been willing to say it. To do anything about it." She couldn't believe she had finally said it; it was all out in the open now.

Elliot had his own ideas about the reasons why, but he wanted to hear hers. She was talking, and he wanted to get it all out in the open. "Why is that? What's the reason?"

Olivia thought about his question, and she knew she had misspoken. There wasn't one reason. There were several. Their relationship over the past 8 years had taken several twists and turns, a constant pulling and pushing as they became more dependent on each other. They used words like complicated, but that barely scratched the surface. There had never been a time, except maybe earlier in their partnership, where it seemed a clear choice could be made without a lot of pain. "Because this is bigger than just _us_." She looked at him, hoping he understood. "You know how this would end…"

"We're talking about you and me. How is this bigger than that?" he challenged, hearing wariness and defeat in her voice. He felt bold in the darkness, but it still bothered him that he couldn't see her face.

Olivia closed her eyes. Part of her wanted him to just leave it alone…to just drop it. But there was another part of her that wanted him to keep pushing her…to have this conversation that should have happened a long time ago. She heard movement, and she opened her eyes. She saw Elliot's shadowy figure moving closer and then he was sitting on the coffee table in front of her. She still couldn't see his features clearly, but intensity was wafting off him in waves.

"How does this end?" Elliot urged.

Olivia took a deep breath, trying to keep tears from welling up. "If we…" She searched for the right words. "If we become _us_ …" her voice trailed off. "What about Kathy…your kids…Cragen…our squad..." She paused. "What would they think? What would they say?"

"Do you really think they'd be surprised?" Elliot said softly.

Olivia didn't respond to his question. "It would be the end of our partnership."

"Why do you think of it as the end?" Elliot leaned forward slightly. "It's just the beginning. He stopped, thinking back to the years they'd been together. No." He corrected himself. "It's not a new beginning for us. It's just a new chapter in our lives together. We don't have to deny how we feel about each other anymore. It's something that should have happened a long time ago."

Olivia heard an earnestness in his voice. A hopefulness…and he clearly wasn't done.

"This week, when you were here, it just felt so…so… _right_." He struggled choosing the right words to convey just how strongly he felt about it. "I found myself wondering why we hadn't spent more time together outside of work. Remember? I even asked you about it. Because when you were sitting here on my couch and we were talking…when we watched the game and you started yelling at the ref…I was just so damned _happy_. You joked about me getting tired of you, and I wanted to tell you that there was _no way_ that was ever going to happen. When I saw you tucked under the covers in my bed, I wished that I could wake up and see you there every morning." He paused for a second and took a deep breath. "You belong here…with me. When you're here, this apartment feels like…it feels like. Home." Elliot reached out for her, and found her hands clasped in her lap. He wrapped his hands around hers. "Liv…I realized that I don't want to be partners anymore. I want more…and I'm just really sorry that it took me so damned long to get my head out of my ass and tell you that."

Elliot took a deep breath. It was out there now…he only hoped Olivia wouldn't push him away…that she would be as honest with him as he had been with her.

Olivia was dumbfounded by Elliot's admission. He had told her more in the past few minutes than he'd said the entire time she'd known him. They had been through so much. There had been so many times when their feelings had overwhelmed them…when they had been on the brink, and then retreated.

Elliot knew he'd probably surprised the hell out of her. He had surprised himself. He had always thought, that if they ever got to this place, that it would be Olivia that would make the first admission.

Suddenly, he had to see her face. He had no idea what was going through her mind right now. He let go of her hands, and he stood up slightly and reached past her. He turned on the small table lamp next to her. Even though it was on it's lowest setting, the light seemed harsh in the room, and he saw her turn her head away.

Elliot sat back down, and Olivia's turned back towards him…her eyes connecting with his.

He wanted to tell her to say something…anything…but he kept silent. This had to be on her terms, and he couldn't push her.

"El…" Olivia said his name…buying time while she sorted through all the things she wanted to say. She pressed her lips together, thinking of all the ways this could ruin them. "I'm scared." She whispered.

Elliot took her hands in his again. "I know."

Olivia's eyes moved back and forth between his, and she saw the way he was looking at her. With such tenderness…such hope…and her fear dissipated. "I love you." She saw the surprise on his face, and she pulled her right hand from his and lay her palm lightly against his cheek. "I love you Elliot. I have for a long time."

Elliot placed his palm over hers, and broke into a grin. He had never been so happy to hear those words before.

Maybe because he never thought he'd heard them uttered by the astonishing woman sitting in front of him now.

"That's perfect, because I am madly, deeply, head over heels in love with you too."

Olivia laughed then…a sense of relief coursing through her.

Elliot grinned, actually thankful for some relief from the serious tone of the conversation. "I tell you that I love you and you laugh?" He teased, dropping their hands and tangling his fingers with his.

"It's just such a relief to finally say it." Olivia said. "For so long, I've kept those feelings locked away. I've tried to deny it. To tell myself all the reasons that it wasn't true. Wasn't right." She squeezed his fingers. "But you're right. I should have told you a long time ago."

"That would have been too easy."

"And we don't do easy."

Olivia laughed again. "You're right about that." She found that she couldn't stop smiling, and the way Elliot was looking at her made her blush. "So…now what?"

"Well…now, we start the rest of our life…together." He tugged her hand slightly. "But first…" His eyes moved to her lips. "First, I'm going to kiss you."


End file.
